Unseen AcademicalsPaperback - 2010
The wizards at Ankh-Morpork's Unseen University are renowned for many things--wisdom, magic, their love of teatime--but athletics is most assuredly not on the list. So when Lord Vetinari, the city's benevolent tyrant, strongly suggests to Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully that the university put forth a football team composed of faculty, students, and staff--or lose the funding that pays for their nine daily meals--the more-than-usually-at-sea UU wizards find themselves in a quandary. To begin with, they have to figure out just what it is that makes this sport of foot-the-ball so popular with Ankh-Morporkians of all ages and social strata. Then they have to learn how to play it. Oh, and on top of that, they must somehow win a football match without using magic.
And the thing about football--the most important thing about football--is that it is never just about football.
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Glenda did not have the temperament for serving at table. It wasn't that she didn't know how to smile; she was quite capable of smiling, if you gave her enough warning, but she positively hated having to smile at people who actually merited, instead, a flick around the earhole with a napkin. She hated taking away plates of unfinished food.
It was like listening to two ancient dragons talking to each other with the help of an even older book of etiquette written by nuns.
Ridcully worked on the basis that anything you couldn't remember wasn't important and had developed the floor-heap method of document storage to a fine art.
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