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Donkey: ...And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin' outta my butt that day!
Donkey: Whoa, Shrek, did you do that? Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that, my mouth was open and everything!
Shrek: Donkey, if that was me, you'd be dead!
Shrek: That's brimstone... we must be getting close.
Donkey: Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about no brimstone. I know what I smelled, it wasn't no brim and it didn't come off no stone neither...
Lord Farquaad: [to his knights] The winner of this tournament - no, no, the privilege - will have the honour of rescuing the beautiful Princess Fiona from the fiery pit of that dragon! Should the winner fail to return, the runner-up shall take his place, and so on and so forth... Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.
Donkey: I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt, too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going... take drastic steps, kick it to the curb. Don't mess wit' me. I'm the Stair Master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here, right now, I'd step all over it...
Donkey: So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?
Shrek: Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
Donkey: I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.
Donkey: Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. CAKE! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
Shrek: I don't care what everyone likes! Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey: You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait."? Parfaits are delicious!
Shrek: NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
Donkey: Parfait's may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!
Donkey: [looks at a hovel] Whoa. Look at that. Who'd wanna live in a place like that?
Shrek: That, would be my home.
Donkey: Oh... and it is LOVELY! You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder.
Donkey: We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!
[Shrek enters the tournament]
Lord Farquaad: What's that? It's hideous!
Shrek: Well, that's not very nice.
[looks at Donkey]
Shrek: It's just a donkey.
AgeAdd Age Suitability
blue_dolphin_5432 thinks this title is suitable for 11 years and over
yellow_chicken_180 thinks this title is suitable for between the ages of 99 and 99
SummaryAdd a Summary
Shrek, a grouchy, mean, selfish green ogre that has always enjoyed living in peaceful solitude in his swamp, finds his life disrupted when numerous fairytale beings, including Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs, and Donkey, are forced into the swamp by order of the obsessive, perfectionistic, fairy-tale despising Lord Farquaad. Shrek leaves the swamp to ask Farquaad for the return of his privacy, with Donkey happily tagging along. Meanwhile, Farquaad tortures the Gingerbread Man into revealing the whereabouts of the remaining fairytale creatures until his guards rush in with an object Farquaad has been searching for: the Magic Mirror. The Mirror tells him that Farquaad can only become a real king by marrying a princess (completely disregarding his original question regarding if his kingdom was the fairest of them all). The Mirror gives him three princesses to choose from (in a parody of The Dating Game): Cinderella, Snow White, and Princess Fiona. Farquaad chooses Fiona and silences the Mirror before he can mention "the little thing that happens at night" (which is later revealed to be a curse). Shrek and Donkey arrive at Farquaad's palace in Duloc, where they find themselves in the midst of a tournament. The winner will have the "privilege" of attempting to rescue Fiona from a castle surrounded by lava and protected by a fire-breathing dragon so that Farquaad may marry her. Shrek (with some help from Donkey) easily beats the other knights in a fashion that resembles a wrestling match and Farquaad agrees to remove the fairytale creatures from the swamp if Shrek rescues Fiona.
An ogre, in order to regain his swamp, travels along with an annoying donkey in order to bring a princess to a scheming lord, wishing himself King.
Shrek the orge is living happily at his swamp until a order from Lord Farquaad sends a bunch of fairy tale creatures to his swamp and the only way he can get them to leave is saving princess Fiona from an dragon. with the assistant's of a annoying donkey. Fiona and Shrek end up falling in love with each other and Fiona becomes a orge forever