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Oct 17, 2013maipenrai rated this title 5 out of 5 stars
When you read a lot of fiction, you know when you are reading a book of literature. Roman, the protagonist of the novel, has a damaged view and way of treating women. He lost his mother at a very young age and has never recovered. He has an affair with a married professor. It is not the usual relationship when a person in power misuses that position, but rather the professor is used and misused by Roman. A one point she says that Roman writes poetry without a self / a soul. Roman is a too damaged. His Pulitzer prize winning poem is an imaginary conversation with the lost mother, but Roman is able to manipulate the voice of his parent, not deal with the possibility of truth. There is a line on page 133 of the hardcover where Miranda says to Roman: The people who matter the most to us in the end, who teach us the most, are the people who make their worst mistakes with us." As a student I had an affair with a married professor. I would like to paraphrase the quote and change it to "the people with whom we make OUR worst mistakes have the potential to matter the most in our lives". This is true only if we acknowledge the great errors, make amends for any injury caused, and heal from the damage to ourselves. I would have preferred the title to read Nothing is Forgotten, All is Lost. I am also an incest survivor who lived for decades with the dissociation of these memories of violence. As I recovered my past with the help of relatives who knew events I could only partially remembered or never knew and a wonderful psychotherapist who helped me remember and saved my life, I came to realize that nothing in my life had been truly forgotten. But to live a life without constant suicidal ideation I had to learn that what I believed about my childhood was false. Almost all was lost - my creations of love especially. Roman, though never abused in the story, lost love at an early age and never learned the nature of love or healed from that reality. He constantly needs the praise of others to feel worthy, but has no idea how to fill the needs of others. I highly recommend this literary book. Kristi & Abby Tabby